50 days left in 2016

It is more or less 50 days until the end of 2016. And while I will not write about the anxiety I feel at the uncertainties of a Trump America, I will say that the emotional response is surprisingly inspiring. No matter your political affiliation, we all feel invested in and committed to our communities. A close friend of mine has always said her guiding post is simply to say, “I want to live by my values.” So we start with what we love, what we believe in, what we hope for. That is where we begin and that is where our community is built. Start with what you love…

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Also, it reminded me that I have a say in how my community is formed. That I have a voice and there is an urgency to use it. That I have to rely on myself, finding strength and happiness within my own measure of life. And despite a rough past week of migraines and overeating and general dislike of myself and utter despair at America…I am doing pretty well. So thanks President Trump for contributing to my improving mental health, in a way.

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November: Nanowrimo + Snow White

Happy Nanowrimo!

I’ve been away for a while, working on my mental health and uh, burgeoning eating disorder (kidding, sort of). But Autumn is still my most inspiring season and I’ve been happily plugging away behind the scenes.Since Nanowrimo is such a public event though, I’ve crawled out of my cave to make some bold statements about my end of year goals.

Lately I am particularly obsessed with this idea of Snow White hiding in the wood at the dwarves’ cottage. The cottage in the wood is the place where she plays housewife, cooking and baking pies, to her alternate family of little-men-children and animals. So, like all fairy tales from past cultures of gender inequity, this could easily be a disturbing metaphor for domesticity as a way to disempower women, RIGHT?

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End of Summer: Promise Letter to my Therapist

Autumn begins on September 22 this year. That means there are 50 days left of summer. 50! A nice, neat, even number.*

I often write about my love for autumn and all things back-to-school. I love the brisk coolness, cinnamon apples, knee socks and sweaters, shiny school supplies, and the freshness of the world getting back to order after the slow days of summer sloth. I always feel like September is the true “new year holiday” and giddily sip sip sip away at my hot, creamy coffee while scribbling down some new personal goals.

It just occurred to me that autumn is exciting simply because the circumstances around me are changing, all on its own volition, and outside of my control (or input). You might say that the environment is inspiring for me…but you could also say that I falsely project that novelty and adventure onto myself. I don’t have to do anything and yet suck in the sense of newness from around me.

On the flip side, if I think August is so slow, so hot, so dull, plodding along at the end of summer vacation, all blunted and uninteresting…well, it is probably because of ME.

I’m blunted and uninteresting.

Hm.

Now what?

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Mermaid Challenge Week

I’ve been crying that we’re “drowning in” work or stress or obligations. I wished I could “come up for air” once in a while. Often I wondered at our strangeness among others, the sense that we were completely different creatures in a bizarre world. If I push the metaphor, I could say we feel like mermaids peering over the California waves.

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But I…like…really really like that: we’re fucking mermaids woohoo!

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